Monday, September 24, 2007


A Tale of Taumorianus a Level 72 Hunter making his way through the forests of Azeroth.

I walk up to the summoning stone and say "Today is a good day to die".. and summon the Dragons. The two Dragons attack me immediately and since I am not stupid I flee. I sit down and bandage myself to full health. I then walk back and look at the two dragons.

Using my skills with beasts and remembering tales I had heard about these dragons in the past I gather together the following information.

Hematus has a fire attack that hits for a small amount but causes a magical effect that increases damage from each subsequent fire spell attack. This magic makes her fire attacks become more deadly the longer the fight goes on.

I draw her out with a shot and move back to a clear area to fight. I put my pet into maniac attack mode and instruct it to let out an intimidating roar so I can ensure that she will not attack me no matter how much damage I do to her. I also start healing spells on my mighty orange tiger Garfield. I then unleash a furious assault of every shot I have in my arsenal. The crack of gunfire can be heard throughout the badlands as I unleash a fury of awesome power.

The dragon hurts Garfield but my healing keeps him alive and we slay this mighty beast fairly easily. We take her hide and it yields the treasured Worn dragon scale's that we so desire.

Flush with our success at destroying the first dragon so easily we venture once more into battle. This time we are facing Blacklash - who uses a fire spell that always hits very very hard. Sounds easier than the last dragon. We stride up with prideful glee and start the attack. We use the same methods. I set Garfield on full attack mode, start healing him, and he lets out his mighty roar to keep the dragons attention. I start slamming the dragon with all the power I can muster.

I instantly notice that Garfield's health is falling faster than Blacklashe's. We are knocking the dragon down but not fast enough. I keep casting heals on Garfield but he is getting destroyed.. then as the fight progresses the dragon decides I am a greater threat than Garfield. So he comes chasing after me. I back peddle as fast as I can while Garfield is clawing at his back. I nail him with my sword and a couple of hits.. but a couple of blasts of fire hit me and I am inured severely. Death seems about to rear its ugly head so I feign death and trick the cunning beast.

I lament my poor Garfield's pending death but look.. He is standing toe to toe with the beast! The beast has but a few bits of health left.. Garfield also is just clinging to life.. Garfield swings with a mighty paw and smites the beast who in his last dying bellow spouts off a gout of flame that takes Garfield to his death. Brave kitty. You fought well and we were victorious.

A very epic end to an amazingly awesome fight and that is how a low level Hunter and his brave pet were able to defeat two terrifying dragon beasts.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Smiting Giant's

A Tale of Taumorianus a Level 72 Hunter making his way through the forests of Azeroth.

I was riding around Arathi Basin with a Paladin friend of mine. Never have you met two totally different kinds of people. I am a hunter. I dwell in the forests and open spaces judging people on their merits. I have even been known to help the Horde on occasion if they seem to be decent folks.

My Paladin friend is entirely different. Some may say he is blinded by the light of his cause. He tends to judge first based on the biases of his devotion to the light instead of the actual deeds of the people he meets. His tactics tend to involve charging into battle and calling down the power of the light upon his enemies.

As we were riding and my bear companion was galloping beside us we came upon a giant with three small rodent friends. He was enormous and I knew he could destroy us with a few swipes of his mighty hands. I quickly held my friend back from charging and formulated a plan to take down this mighty creature.

I decide our best tactic would be to remove his friends first and then tackle the giant. I quickly distract the trailing ratman and waited until his friends were out of sight before charging in and killing him.

The tactic worked so well I decided to try it again. However I gain the attention of both of his remaining companions. The battle is not as easy as the first one. We all end up a little battered but luckily the dim witted giant has not noticed his friends are missing.

I need to devise a strategy to take down this giant because if we try to take him on directly it will not end well for us. I decide to use the magic of the cheetah and increase my speed to that of the beast. I begin pounding the giant with all of my shots and he finally turns around and starts to chase me.

I run as fast as I can away from him fully consumed by the speed of the spirit of the cheetah. I look back and see him closing thinking to myself "Oh fuck he is fast!!!". My valiant bear and the stoic Paladin start pounding at his back. He then turns around to fight them and I nail him as hard as I can using a mix of my normal arrows and arcane ones. He starts chasing me again which gives the Paladin a chance to call on the healing warmth of the light and keep pounding on the giants back. I am laughing my ass off at this giant chasing me and yet not being able to catch up to me. He finally dies to a blast of the paladin's sword.

It felt good to rid the Arathi Basin of these monsters. The giant was much more powerful than our group but the good tactics of a Hunter are hard to beat especially when backed by such good friends.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

World of Days of Our Lives?

WoW is a fun game but sometimes the forums and side issues are even funnier. Like this ten year old kid. He is playing Wow with his Warlock and summons a Succubus.. and while he is checking out her rack she goes "Ahhhhh Ahhhh" and the whip cracks.. well Mommy and Daddy are watching and this incredibly funny thread starts.

Some of my favorite comments were:

"Tell your parents she said she was 18"
"Reroll Hello Kitty Island Adventure. Your mommy and daddy will like it better"

People are so kind. Ha! Least we forget the infidelity when Gilgamesh cheated on her IRL husband with one of his clan captains. Ha! I am not sure if this was real or not but the thread was funny. I think it has been removed from the Forum but here is a link from WoW insider and another YouTube video.

Last but not least the chick who slept with a guy for an Epic Mount. Let the puns commence. She posted an Ad on Craigslist (funniest site ever) and soon enough she was mounting up... I think she really just wanted to get laid.

So see WoW is not JUST about killing Scorpids.