Thursday, March 18, 2010

Introducing Borelock

A Tale of Borelock a Level 53 Warlock who might be evil, might be misunderstood, and is most probably insane.

Hello friends I am Borelock and I dabble in the occult. I guess you might consider me evil because I hang around demons and suck peoples souls out and things like that. I just consider myself misunderstood. I mean I need those souls to continue my research and to summon greater demon's to um, help the world, ya.. see I am helping the world. Please do not misjudge me like those annoying Paladin's. I mean who would you rather party with me and my succubus or some Paladin and his horse. See. See!

The other night I was out exploring the world. I had helped many people out in Un Goro crater. Not that I enjoy helping people but they do pay me a lot of gold which helps fund my experimentation.

I love the crater. I can skin basically everything that lives there and sell the leather for a killing. I then use the profits to buy cloth and make myself some bad ass robes and gauntlets. If only it was not so sunny there. I will have to look into bringing a permanent cloud of darkness over the place.

The creatures in the crater had become less of a challenge so I decided to head down to Sithilus and see if any of those dirty Night Elves had some jobs for me. As I start up the road on my Dreadsteed I notice a shadowy horse trailing me. I glance back and see a dark shadow priest.

You might assume we would get along. I like the dark. He likes the dark. I like to cast damaging plagues upon people so does he. He is kind of a Warlock light minus the pet.

Unfortunately this member of the Horde figured I was easy pickings. He had a lot more experience than I did and I knew he would be able to destroy me. I had to think quickly. Luckily intelligence comes easily to me. I knew that the fortress of the Night Elves was fairly close. If I could only make it there I would be safe. The elves allow all kinds of people into their town but they do not allow any violence against humanoids of the Horde or Alliance.

I kicked my Dreadsteed and spurred him on to greater speed. The priest then made the mistake of leaping from his horse so he could cast his wicked magic at me. He hit me hard. His consuming magics ate at my body but still I ran and pulled ahead of him. I limped into the fortress of the Night Elves and quickly bandaged myself. I also summoned my companion from the depths of the nether.

Shortly after the priest came charging into the fortress. He was fuming mad. Apparently he did not know that no violence was allowed in this town. He threw all his magic at me. I quickly sacrificed some of the life force from my demon Voidwalker and erected a shield. The dark priests spells could not penetrate my defenses.

Barely a second later a dozen guards rushed the offending priest. I laughed as they beat him to a pulp and threw him to the ground. The guards issues a stern warning to him and left him bleeding.

I figured this was the end of it so I laughed at the priest. This infuriated the priest so much that he lost his mind and again threw all of his magics at me. I howled in laughter as I siphoned off a little more of my pets life force to erect another magical barrier.

The guards true to their words beat the priest to within a fraction of his life and tossed him out of the city. I returned to Stormwind with a smile on my face selling all of the leather I had collected for a hefty profit.

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Great Beast Onyxia

A Tale of Armorage a Level 80 Death Knight trying to keep the evil of Northrend from spilling over the whole of Azeroth.

As a member of the Alliance I frequently am called upon to patrol the other continents. Our main forces are focused on the Lich King and this gives other evils a chance to fester and grow corrupting our people. The swamplands outside of the proud city of Theramore are ripe for this kind of activity. A large increase of activity from the drakes in the area tipped us off to some kind of major offensive. I took a small party of seasoned warriors down into the swamplands to investigate. In our party was a great druid healer Animorph. I have mentioned him before in these logs as his heroic deeds are many. We took with us two green horns another druid and a death knight as myself.

As we reached the southern end of the swamp we had to fight through large groups of dragon kind. Mostly just whelplings and dragon sorcerers. None of these provided much challenge to seasoned soldiers such as ourselves. Finally we stumbled upon a great cave with gigantic carved talons blocking the entrance. We quickly found the mechanism to enter the cave. The shear size of the cave caused our companions to hesitate. Animorph and myself having seen the Lich King himself shrugged this off. We followed the cave a ways in dispatching some minor minions. Eventually we came upon a great cavern. We could see cracks of lava riddling the floor and in the center of the room was one of the biggest dragons I have ever seen. She was black as the night and had armor plates across her entire body. She was indeed one of the most fearsome things I had seen outside of Northrend.

The dragon told us it's name was Onyxia and that it would feast on our bones and give the tender morsels of our flesh to its children. I am pretty sure I do not have any tender flesh left but felt it was inappropriate to mention this to the dragon at this time.

I did what any sane person would and charged into battle, the etched runes of my sword glowing blood red, frosty white, and poisonous green. I would like to say I dispatched this beast easily but this was truly an epic battle. Without my companions help I would have been felled. I have no idea what happens to a Death Knight when they die but I expect some special place in hell is reserved for me.

I struck this beast with all I had and still it battled on. Finally it took flight and circled above us calling for its brood. As the young dragons descended upon us she flew above raining fireballs down upon us all. I was worried for my friend the druid as his tree form would seem ill advised for battle fires. He held his ground as we cleared out Onyxia's huge brood. Enraged she finally landed and in a fury tried to decapitate me. I stood my ground, my sword matching each giant claws smash. Disease, blood, poison, all of my powers were tested. I felt the familiar healing waves emanating from my druid companion sustaining me through waves of flame and rending claw. Finally with a great cleave of my sword the beast lay dead at my feet.

I had to laugh as the beast was reduced to a pair of slippers by Animorphs skinning knife. In the end this is the fate of us all. To be reduced to our component parts and forgotten by the annals of time. Could there be something past the end of our days. I do not remember anything from my time of death but perhaps us living or undead can not process the wonders of that time.. or the horrors.

Friday, March 27, 2009

The Lich King

A Tale of Armorage a Level 80 Death Knight trying to keep the evil of Northrend from spilling over the whole of Azeroth.

Last night we struck a blow to the Lich King that will hopefully turn the tides of this brutal war. I still look back on my life before I became a Death Knight. It really is sort of a blur. A warm feeling here. A passionate kiss. A child's laughter. Whatever was done to me to make me this cold blooded killing machine took away much of my memories of the past. All that is left to me now is to payback the one who did this to me.

After many weeks of battling the lower minions of the Icecrown I finally reached someone who could strike a blow that would cause the evil Lich to take notice. The Bone Hag is a strange character but she enabled me to find Overthane Balargarde. His arrogance was somewhat warranted as he was a strong challenge. Luckily I had one of the strange tree druids of the forests to help me. He would keep my body safe as I destroyed this threat.

The battle was mighty and difficult. Balargarde struck with massive frost shock which rattled me to the bone. I was able to counter him with mighty slashes of my blade and my own icy fingered magic. The druid was able to keep my wounds from being fatal as the battle wore on. Finally when I thought I could go no further the combat was interrupted by the one I hate the most. The Lich King came down upon our battle and spoke with Balargarde. The Overthane then rushed me in a ferocious attempt to end the combat. I was able to summon my undead ghoul legions and dispatch him. In the end the Lich King spoke to me and said "You have bested one of my finest, but your efforts are for naught. The frozen heart of Icecrown awaits ...". I do not know what these ominous words mean or what future plans the Lich King may have for me but they chill me to my frozen core.

I wish I had the strength to strike down the Lich then and there but our time to battle has not come yet. I must strengthen my mind, body, and soul so that I am ready for our inevitable meeting. I believe he means to have me back in his power as an undead puppet but I will not allow this to happen. One day I will face my old master and bring justice to my shattered memories. Until then these small victories must be enough.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Helping Out Friends

A Tale of Armorage a Level 80 Death Knight trying to keep the evil of Northrend from spilling over the whole of Azeroth.

I was in the Storm Peaks the other day flying my incredibly slow Griffon around to help out my new friends the Sons of Hodir. Funny how in this long war some of our enemies become friends. I received a messaged from my Guild the Darkwolf Brotherhood that a few of our more green recruits needed help finding the Platinum Disks. Apparently these crazy dwarves at the Explorers League in Ironforge think they have some value. I am always ready to rush into battle for my brothers so I quickly agreed to help. I headed off to Dalaran and jumped into one of those portals the mages setup and hired a griffon to get me to Mines of Uldaman.

As I was approaching the mining area I heard my friends cry out in pain. Rushing to their side I saw a great injustice being done. An enemy orc rogue, who should have been in Northrend, had decided to come down to Uldaman and try and pick off young recruits. I guess all is far in love and war. I being a knight of course rushed in to save my companions.

The rogue and its kind are masters of cheap tactics and I would need to be careful. We were at evenly matched skill levels and our gear appeared comparable. However when a sneaky, backstabber is exposed to the light of day he usually does not fare well against an armored wall like myself. I cast my dark magics to fortify myself any stunning tactics he may use and rushed into the battle. We clashed several times each trying to get the upper hand. I used my chains of ice to try and bind him to one place, as he flew back and forth furiously waving his daggers. Each clank of his daggers off of my armor did but scratch me as I cast wave after wave of icy death upon him and connected with my massive Titansteel Destroyer. In the end my lovingly crafted mace was able to cave in this vagrants skull as his head split with an with an oddly melodious splatting sound. I still am awed by some of the changes that have befallen me since my transformation into a Knight of Death. My preferences in music have changed from the silent song of the night elves forests to the sickening sounds of death.

The shadow stalking rogue turned out to be the hardest part of our journey. We were easily able to vanquish the creatures of the dungeon and the disk were returned to the Explorers League. I leave it with them to find some use for the things. I can see no good use for them except as a holder for my Ale.

Monday, September 24, 2007


A Tale of Taumorianus a Level 72 Hunter making his way through the forests of Azeroth.

I walk up to the summoning stone and say "Today is a good day to die".. and summon the Dragons. The two Dragons attack me immediately and since I am not stupid I flee. I sit down and bandage myself to full health. I then walk back and look at the two dragons.

Using my skills with beasts and remembering tales I had heard about these dragons in the past I gather together the following information.

Hematus has a fire attack that hits for a small amount but causes a magical effect that increases damage from each subsequent fire spell attack. This magic makes her fire attacks become more deadly the longer the fight goes on.

I draw her out with a shot and move back to a clear area to fight. I put my pet into maniac attack mode and instruct it to let out an intimidating roar so I can ensure that she will not attack me no matter how much damage I do to her. I also start healing spells on my mighty orange tiger Garfield. I then unleash a furious assault of every shot I have in my arsenal. The crack of gunfire can be heard throughout the badlands as I unleash a fury of awesome power.

The dragon hurts Garfield but my healing keeps him alive and we slay this mighty beast fairly easily. We take her hide and it yields the treasured Worn dragon scale's that we so desire.

Flush with our success at destroying the first dragon so easily we venture once more into battle. This time we are facing Blacklash - who uses a fire spell that always hits very very hard. Sounds easier than the last dragon. We stride up with prideful glee and start the attack. We use the same methods. I set Garfield on full attack mode, start healing him, and he lets out his mighty roar to keep the dragons attention. I start slamming the dragon with all the power I can muster.

I instantly notice that Garfield's health is falling faster than Blacklashe's. We are knocking the dragon down but not fast enough. I keep casting heals on Garfield but he is getting destroyed.. then as the fight progresses the dragon decides I am a greater threat than Garfield. So he comes chasing after me. I back peddle as fast as I can while Garfield is clawing at his back. I nail him with my sword and a couple of hits.. but a couple of blasts of fire hit me and I am inured severely. Death seems about to rear its ugly head so I feign death and trick the cunning beast.

I lament my poor Garfield's pending death but look.. He is standing toe to toe with the beast! The beast has but a few bits of health left.. Garfield also is just clinging to life.. Garfield swings with a mighty paw and smites the beast who in his last dying bellow spouts off a gout of flame that takes Garfield to his death. Brave kitty. You fought well and we were victorious.

A very epic end to an amazingly awesome fight and that is how a low level Hunter and his brave pet were able to defeat two terrifying dragon beasts.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Smiting Giant's

A Tale of Taumorianus a Level 72 Hunter making his way through the forests of Azeroth.

I was riding around Arathi Basin with a Paladin friend of mine. Never have you met two totally different kinds of people. I am a hunter. I dwell in the forests and open spaces judging people on their merits. I have even been known to help the Horde on occasion if they seem to be decent folks.

My Paladin friend is entirely different. Some may say he is blinded by the light of his cause. He tends to judge first based on the biases of his devotion to the light instead of the actual deeds of the people he meets. His tactics tend to involve charging into battle and calling down the power of the light upon his enemies.

As we were riding and my bear companion was galloping beside us we came upon a giant with three small rodent friends. He was enormous and I knew he could destroy us with a few swipes of his mighty hands. I quickly held my friend back from charging and formulated a plan to take down this mighty creature.

I decide our best tactic would be to remove his friends first and then tackle the giant. I quickly distract the trailing ratman and waited until his friends were out of sight before charging in and killing him.

The tactic worked so well I decided to try it again. However I gain the attention of both of his remaining companions. The battle is not as easy as the first one. We all end up a little battered but luckily the dim witted giant has not noticed his friends are missing.

I need to devise a strategy to take down this giant because if we try to take him on directly it will not end well for us. I decide to use the magic of the cheetah and increase my speed to that of the beast. I begin pounding the giant with all of my shots and he finally turns around and starts to chase me.

I run as fast as I can away from him fully consumed by the speed of the spirit of the cheetah. I look back and see him closing thinking to myself "Oh fuck he is fast!!!". My valiant bear and the stoic Paladin start pounding at his back. He then turns around to fight them and I nail him as hard as I can using a mix of my normal arrows and arcane ones. He starts chasing me again which gives the Paladin a chance to call on the healing warmth of the light and keep pounding on the giants back. I am laughing my ass off at this giant chasing me and yet not being able to catch up to me. He finally dies to a blast of the paladin's sword.

It felt good to rid the Arathi Basin of these monsters. The giant was much more powerful than our group but the good tactics of a Hunter are hard to beat especially when backed by such good friends.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

World of Days of Our Lives?

WoW is a fun game but sometimes the forums and side issues are even funnier. Like this ten year old kid. He is playing Wow with his Warlock and summons a Succubus.. and while he is checking out her rack she goes "Ahhhhh Ahhhh" and the whip cracks.. well Mommy and Daddy are watching and this incredibly funny thread starts.

Some of my favorite comments were:

"Tell your parents she said she was 18"
"Reroll Hello Kitty Island Adventure. Your mommy and daddy will like it better"

People are so kind. Ha! Least we forget the infidelity when Gilgamesh cheated on her IRL husband with one of his clan captains. Ha! I am not sure if this was real or not but the thread was funny. I think it has been removed from the Forum but here is a link from WoW insider and another YouTube video.

Last but not least the chick who slept with a guy for an Epic Mount. Let the puns commence. She posted an Ad on Craigslist (funniest site ever) and soon enough she was mounting up... I think she really just wanted to get laid.

So see WoW is not JUST about killing Scorpids.